4th Six Weeks
Week 2
January 11-15, 2016
MONDAY, January 11
* Journal #62
* Revising and editing question
* Comma Rules (FOILC) applied
* Attention grabbers with controlling idea
* Prompt:Write an essay explaining the importance of being on time.
TUESDAY, January 12
* Journal #63
* Revising and editing question
* Comma Rules (FOILC) applied
* Attention grabbers with controlling idea (basketball game)
* Prompt:Write an essay explaining the importance of being on time.
WEDNESDAY, January 13
* Journal # 64
* Revising and editing question
* Comma rules continued
* Attention grabbers with controlling idea (basketball game)
* Removing clutter from writing (revising)
THURSDAY, January 14
* Revising and editing questions
* Comma rules continued
* Webbed writing
FRIDAY, January 15
* Revising and editing question
* Comma rules finalized
* Precise words (revising)
CLUTTER
Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1
Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. The first sentence has been done as an example.
1. Many local farmers plan to attend next Friday's meeting.
2. Although Bradley Hall is regularly populated by students, close study of the building as a structure is seldom undertaken by them.
3. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.
4. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days.
5. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one.
6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.
7. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.
8. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.
9. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.
10. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.
11. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.
12. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.
Answer : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1
Please note that these are a sampling of possible answers. These should be used as a guide to show what is possible, not as a source of the only "correct" answers for the exercise. Here are our suggestions:
1. Many local farmers plan to attend next Friday's meeting.
2. Bradley Hall is usually filled with students who do not study the building as a structure.
3. He dropped out of school to support his family.
4. The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the next few days.
5. Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many ways.
6. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.
7. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
8. Five out of more than a thousand students at a campus rally were arrested for disorderly conduct, and several others were charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without a permit.
9. Students think that the most important subjects are those that will be useful after graduation.
10. Soon college freshmen must realize that they need to contact their advisors about their choices of majors.
11. Our company provides opportunities for professional growth and stability in the dynamic field of aerospace technology.
12. There are people who are for and people who are against capital punishment.
